Colchester

Wednesday | 20:00-22:00

United Way Colchester, CO4 5UP

Welcome to MAN v FAT Colchester. Please feel free to sign up and your MAN v FAT coach will be in touch soon. (You will not be charged a monthly subscription of £35 until your place in the club is confirmed).

View Map

Hello and welcome to MAN v FAT Football Colchester. The first step is often the most difficult and now you have taken that step I am looking forward to helping you on your weight loss journey.

Tom Irving , Coach, Colchester

see what our players have been up to

Leaderboard

Season Twenty-Seven | 2025
#
Team
Pl
W
Pts
1
Pork Vale (Blue)
9
7
14
2
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
9
6
12
3
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
9
6
12
4
Man Titty (Orange)
9
4
8
5
Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
9
3
6
6
Lardiff City (Black)
9
1
2

Latest league fixtures / results

P W D L F A GD PTS
Pork Vale (Blue) 9 7 0 2 106 69 37 14
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 9 6 0 3 101 74 27 12
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 9 6 0 3 90 85 5 12
Man Titty (Orange) 9 4 0 5 74 91 -17 8
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 9 3 0 6 87 105 -18 6
Lardiff City (Black) 9 1 0 8 50 84 -34 2
P W D L F A GD PTS
Pork Vale (Blue) 9 8 1 0 76 34 42 17
Man Titty (Orange) 9 5 2 2 47 32 15 12
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 9 5 1 3 55 38 17 11
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 9 2 2 5 36 52 -16 6
Lardiff City (Black) 9 2 0 7 24 47 -23 4
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 9 2 0 7 36 71 -35 4
P W D L F A GD PTS
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 9 8 0 1 42 18 24 16
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 9 6 1 2 39 18 21 13
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 9 4 1 4 27 23 4 9
Pork Vale (Blue) 9 3 1 5 11 21 -10 7
Man Titty (Orange) 9 2 1 6 15 42 -27 5
Lardiff City (Black) 9 2 0 7 14 26 -12 4
Team Player Weight Score Loss Percentage
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Reece Currie 16.00 4.82%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Jan Lawlor 16.00 2.09%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Darren Smith 14.00 11.15%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Paul Dolden 13.50 16.24%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Toby Fox-Hammond 12.00 12.07%
Lardiff City (Black) Raj Nakum 12.00 6.00%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Graham Lawlor 10.50 3.82%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Peter Jenkins 8.00 0.44%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) David Langston 7.50 1.53%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Calum Irvine 6.50 2.35%
Lardiff City (Black) Jon Graham 6.50 1.90%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Steve Bignell 6.00 5.05%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jonathan Nottage 6.00 4.31%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Andrew Fergus 5.50 7.51%
Lardiff City (Black) Dan Garrett 5.00 2.94%
Pork Vale (Blue) Paul Gibbs 5.00 1.81%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Gary Robinson 5.00 0.10%
Man Titty (Orange) Mark Ferrari 4.00 0.18%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Justin Boswick 3.50 2.98%
Man Titty (Orange) Greg Stephens 3.50 1.56%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) nick towler 3.00 4.55%
Man Titty (Orange) Milan Karadzic 3.00 2.29%
Man Titty (Orange) Leigh Alston 3.00 0.43%
Man Titty (Orange) David Hogan 3.00 0.17%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) James Gibbins 2.50 3.89%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Warren Hallworth 2.50 0.68%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Lee De’ath 2.50 0.44%
Man Titty (Orange) Christopher Tillett 2.00 1.32%
Pork Vale (Blue) Robert Skipper 2.00 -0.21%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) ALI CAIRNS 1.00 1.34%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Paul Sheppard 1.00 0.49%
Man Titty (Orange) Tom Karadzic 1.00 -0.29%
Man Titty (Orange) Tony Harrison 0.50 0.94%
Lardiff City (Black) Russell Smith 0.50 0.09%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Gregg Davis 0.50 -0.69%

Upcoming Cup Matches

Recent Cup Match Results

  • Wednesday 16 April

    Lardiff City (Black)
    13 - 4
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    4 - 11
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    14 - 2
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 19 March

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    7 - 13
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    6 - 10
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    8 - 9
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 19 February

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    15 - 12
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    7 - -1
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    7 - 3
    Man Titty (Orange)

 

  • Wednesday 30 April

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 30 April

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 20:30
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 30 April

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 21:00
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

Tap score to see breakdown.

  • Wednesday 23 April

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    8 - 14
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    11 - 12
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    6 - 5
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 09 April

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    12 - 7
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    11 - 12
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    7 - 4
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 02 April

    Lardiff City (Black)
    3 - 10
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    6 - 13
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    8 - 9
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 26 March

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    13 - 15
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    11 - 6
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    6 - 21
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 12 March

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    9 - 3
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    7 - 12
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    7 - 12
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 05 March

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    11 - 26
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    9 - 7
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    2 - 8
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 26 February

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    14 - 10
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    5 - 18
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    12 - 6
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 12 February

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    6 - 7
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    9 - 11
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    11 - 7
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 05 February

    Lardiff City (Black)
    10 - 8
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    10 - 8
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    5 - 8
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 30 April

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)