Colchester

Wednesday | 20:00-22:00

United Way Colchester, CO4 5UP

Welcome to MAN v FAT Colchester. Please feel free to sign up and your MAN v FAT coach will be in touch soon. (You will not be charged a monthly subscription of £35 until your place in the club is confirmed).

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Hello and welcome to MAN v FAT Football Colchester. The first step is often the most difficult and now you have taken that step I am looking forward to helping you on your weight loss journey.

Tom Irving , Coach, Colchester

see what our players have been up to

Leaderboard

Season Twenty-Eight | 2025
#
Team
Pl
W
Pts
1
Pork Vale (Blue)
6
6
12
2
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
6
4
8
3
Man Titty (Orange)
6
2
5
4
Lardiff City (Black)
6
2
4
5
Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
6
2
4
6
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
6
1
3

Latest league fixtures / results

P W D L F A GD PTS
Pork Vale (Blue) 6 6 0 0 111 69 42 12
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 6 4 0 2 76 68 8 8
Man Titty (Orange) 6 2 1 3 70 81 -11 5
Lardiff City (Black) 6 2 0 4 66 72 -6 4
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 6 2 0 4 67 89 -22 4
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 6 1 1 4 67 78 -11 3
P W D L F A GD PTS
Pork Vale (Blue) 6 6 0 0 64 31 33 12
Man Titty (Orange) 6 4 0 2 48 34 14 8
Lardiff City (Black) 6 4 0 2 32 36 -4 8
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 6 3 0 3 48 37 11 6
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 6 1 0 5 35 47 -12 2
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 6 0 0 6 14 56 -42 0
P W D L F A GD PTS
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 6 5 0 1 41 18 23 10
Lardiff City (Black) 6 4 0 2 18 20 -2 8
Pork Vale (Blue) 6 3 0 3 30 26 4 6
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 6 3 0 3 17 15 2 6
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 6 3 0 3 14 20 -6 6
Man Titty (Orange) 6 0 0 6 11 32 -21 0
Team Player Weight Score Loss Percentage
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Luke Clements 19.00 22.00%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Darren Smith 12.00 6.45%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Paul Dolden 11.50 12.71%
Lardiff City (Black) Raj Nakum 10.00 7.86%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Reece Currie 10.00 6.94%
Pork Vale (Blue) Darren Pearce 9.00 4.74%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Jan Lawlor 9.00 2.12%
Lardiff City (Black) Rick Hall 8.50 6.29%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) James Crooks 6.50 6.98%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jonathan Nottage 6.00 4.59%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Charlie Fox 5.50 3.53%
Pork Vale (Blue) Paul Gibbs 5.00 9.40%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Graham Lawlor 5.00 3.09%
Man Titty (Orange) James Culling 4.00 5.74%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Simon Durrant 4.00 3.77%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jason Wiggins 4.00 1.52%
Man Titty (Orange) Dan Fish 3.50 5.64%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Richard Lessemun 3.50 3.39%
Lardiff City (Black) Thomas Nind 3.50 1.17%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Justin Boswick 3.00 1.38%
Lardiff City (Black) Jon Graham 3.00 1.28%
Pork Vale (Blue) James Webster 2.50 4.19%
Pork Vale (Blue) Sam pritchard 2.50 3.59%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Andrew Fergus 2.50 3.13%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) David Langston 2.50 2.58%
Pork Vale (Blue) Darren White 2.50 1.82%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Lee De’ath 2.50 1.78%
Lardiff City (Black) Jim Lister 2.50 1.50%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Warren Hallworth 2.50 1.27%
Pork Vale (Blue) Daniel Connellan 2.00 0.32%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Gary Robinson 2.00 0.10%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Paul Sheppard 1.50 1.96%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Alan Currivan 1.50 1.24%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Toby Fox-Hammond 1.50 0.00%
Man Titty (Orange) Tony Harrison 1.50 0.00%
Pork Vale (Blue) Robert Skipper 1.50 -1.27%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Steve Bignell 1.00 5.15%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) seth dodson 1.00 3.18%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Damian Lidster 1.00 2.85%
Lardiff City (Black) Jake Towns 1.00 1.14%
Man Titty (Orange) Jamie Watson 1.00 1.09%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jamie Whiteside 1.00 0.90%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Kevin Ballard 1.00 0.73%
Man Titty (Orange) Leigh Alston 1.00 0.69%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) David Ainsworth 1.00 0.07%
Lardiff City (Black) Dan Garrett 0.50 0.36%
Man Titty (Orange) Luke Wicks 0.50 0.30%

Upcoming Cup Matches

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:30
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 21:00
    Pork Vale (Blue)

Recent Cup Match Results

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    15 - 16
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    17 - 7
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    11 - 13
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 04 June

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    16 - 6
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    15 - 14
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 6
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)

 

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 20:00
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 20:30
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 21:00
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:00
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:30
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 21:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 20:00
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:30
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 21:00
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 20:30
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 21:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

Tap score to see breakdown.

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Lardiff City (Black)
    17 - 26
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    10 - 15
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    17 - 16
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 25 June

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    23 - 13
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    9 - 10
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    15 - 17
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 18 June

    Lardiff City (Black)
    8 - 10
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    14 - 10
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    9 - 9
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 11 June

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 9
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    6 - 15
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    9 - 19
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 28 May

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    11 - 16
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    7 - 14
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    9 - 8
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 14 May

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    13 - 15
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 8
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    10 - 16
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)