Colchester

Wednesday | 20:00-22:00

United Way Colchester, CO4 5UP

Welcome to MAN v FAT Colchester. Please feel free to sign up and your MAN v FAT coach will be in touch soon. (You will not be charged a monthly subscription of £35 until your place in the club is confirmed).

View Map

Hello and welcome to MAN v FAT Football Colchester. The first step is often the most difficult and now you have taken that step I am looking forward to helping you on your weight loss journey.

Tom Irving , Coach, Colchester

see what our players have been up to

Leaderboard

Season Twenty-Eight | 2025
#
Team
Pl
W
Pts
1
Pork Vale (Blue)
8
6
12
2
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
8
5
10
3
Man Titty (Orange)
8
4
9
4
Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
8
4
8
5
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
8
2
5
6
Lardiff City (Black)
8
2
4

Latest league fixtures / results

P W D L F A GD PTS
Pork Vale (Blue) 8 6 0 2 133 97 36 12
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 8 5 0 3 102 96 6 10
Man Titty (Orange) 8 4 1 3 101 103 -2 9
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 8 4 0 4 97 114 -17 8
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 8 2 1 5 91 106 -15 5
Lardiff City (Black) 8 2 0 6 95 103 -8 4
P W D L F A GD PTS
Pork Vale (Blue) 8 6 1 1 75 43 32 13
Man Titty (Orange) 8 6 0 2 69 43 26 12
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 8 4 0 4 58 53 5 8
Lardiff City (Black) 8 4 0 4 43 56 -13 8
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 8 2 0 6 47 59 -12 4
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 8 1 1 6 27 65 -38 3
P W D L F A GD PTS
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 8 6 0 2 51 26 25 12
Lardiff City (Black) 8 6 0 2 28 25 3 12
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 8 4 1 3 23 26 -3 9
Pork Vale (Blue) 8 3 1 4 35 35 0 7
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 8 3 0 5 22 26 -4 6
Man Titty (Orange) 8 1 0 7 17 38 -21 2
Team Player Weight Score Loss Percentage
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Luke Clements 23.00 22.20%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Darren Smith 14.00 7.16%
Lardiff City (Black) Raj Nakum 13.00 7.36%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Jan Lawlor 13.00 4.24%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Reece Currie 13.00 2.10%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Paul Dolden 12.00 15.00%
Lardiff City (Black) Rick Hall 9.50 8.67%
Man Titty (Orange) James Culling 9.50 6.65%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) James Crooks 9.00 7.75%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jonathan Nottage 8.50 6.01%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Simon Durrant 8.00 7.13%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Steve Bignell 6.00 7.03%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Charlie Fox 5.50 2.87%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Graham Lawlor 5.50 2.85%
Lardiff City (Black) Jon Graham 5.50 2.22%
Pork Vale (Blue) Paul Gibbs 5.00 9.31%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jason Wiggins 4.50 1.93%
Lardiff City (Black) Thomas Nind 4.00 2.64%
Man Titty (Orange) Dan Fish 3.50 5.26%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) David Langston 3.50 2.37%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Warren Hallworth 3.50 2.17%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Richard Lessemun 3.50 1.79%
Pork Vale (Blue) James Webster 3.00 4.28%
Pork Vale (Blue) Darren White 3.00 2.01%
Lardiff City (Black) Dan Garrett 3.00 1.89%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Lee De’ath 3.00 1.87%
Lardiff City (Black) Jake Towns 3.00 1.03%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Alan Currivan 2.50 2.10%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Andrew Fergus 2.50 2.09%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Kevin Ballard 2.50 1.68%
Pork Vale (Blue) Sam pritchard 2.50 1.52%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Damian Lidster 2.00 2.98%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Paul Sheppard 1.50 1.96%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jamie Whiteside 1.50 1.00%
Lardiff City (Black) Michael Lister 1.50 0.77%
Man Titty (Orange) Tony Harrison 1.50 0.00%
Lardiff City (Black) Jim Lister 1.50 -0.58%
Pork Vale (Blue) Daniel Connellan 1.50 -0.97%
Man Titty (Orange) Jamie Watson 1.00 1.09%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Gary Robinson 1.00 -0.92%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) James Gibbins 0.50 1.57%
Man Titty (Orange) Mark Ferrari 0.50 1.32%
Man Titty (Orange) David Hogan 0.50 0.67%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Jonas Rhodes 0.50 0.43%
Man Titty (Orange) Owen Stedman 0.50 0.43%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Toby Fox-Hammond 0.50 -1.10%
Pork Vale (Blue) Robert Skipper 0.50 -1.91%

Upcoming Cup Matches

Recent Cup Match Results

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 6
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    14 - 9
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    10 - 9
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    15 - 16
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    17 - 7
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    11 - 13
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 04 June

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    16 - 6
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    15 - 14
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 6
    Man Titty (Orange)

 

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 20:00
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:30
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 21:00
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 20:30
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 21:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

Tap score to see breakdown.

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    15 - 14
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    13 - 11
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    15 - 7
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    17 - 13
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    15 - 16
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    11 - 15
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Lardiff City (Black)
    17 - 26
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    10 - 15
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    17 - 16
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 25 June

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    23 - 13
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    9 - 10
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    15 - 17
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 18 June

    Lardiff City (Black)
    8 - 10
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    14 - 10
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    9 - 9
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 11 June

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 9
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    6 - 15
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    9 - 19
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 28 May

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    11 - 16
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    7 - 14
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    9 - 8
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 14 May

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    13 - 15
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 8
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    10 - 16
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)