Colchester

Wednesday | 20:00-22:00

United Way Colchester, CO4 5UP

Welcome to MAN v FAT Colchester. Please feel free to sign up and your MAN v FAT coach will be in touch soon. (You will not be charged a monthly subscription of £35 until your place in the club is confirmed).

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Hello and welcome to MAN v FAT Football Colchester. The first step is often the most difficult and now you have taken that step I am looking forward to helping you on your weight loss journey.

Tom Irving , Coach, Colchester

see what our players have been up to

Leaderboard

Season Twenty-Eight | 2025
#
Team
Pl
W
Pts
1
Pork Vale (Blue)
2
2
4
2
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
2
2
4
3
Man Titty (Orange)
2
1
2
4
Lardiff City (Black)
2
1
2
5
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
2
0
0
6
Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
2
0
0

Latest league fixtures / results

P W D L F A GD PTS
Pork Vale (Blue) 2 2 0 0 29 20 9 4
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 2 2 0 0 28 19 9 4
Man Titty (Orange) 2 1 0 1 23 24 -1 2
Lardiff City (Black) 2 1 0 1 17 20 -3 2
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 2 0 0 2 21 24 -3 0
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 2 0 0 2 21 32 -11 0
P W D L F A GD PTS
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 2 2 0 0 21 5 16 4
Pork Vale (Blue) 2 2 0 0 17 10 7 4
Man Titty (Orange) 2 1 0 1 19 12 7 2
Lardiff City (Black) 2 1 0 1 11 13 -2 2
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 2 0 0 2 9 15 -6 0
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 2 0 0 2 4 26 -22 0
P W D L F A GD PTS
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) 2 2 0 0 15 2 13 4
Lardiff City (Black) 2 2 0 0 3 1 2 4
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) 2 1 0 1 7 4 3 2
Pork Vale (Blue) 2 1 0 1 7 7 0 2
Man Titty (Orange) 2 0 0 2 1 9 -8 0
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) 2 0 0 2 2 12 -10 0
Team Player Weight Score Loss Percentage
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Luke Clements 11.00 21.40%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Paul Dolden 7.00 4.15%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Darren Smith 4.00 3.73%
Lardiff City (Black) Raj Nakum 2.00 3.49%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Reece Currie 2.00 3.23%
Pork Vale (Blue) Paul Gibbs 1.00 6.88%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Richard Lessemun 1.00 1.80%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Charlie Fox 1.00 1.77%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jonathan Nottage 1.00 1.77%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Justin Boswick 1.00 1.75%
Pork Vale (Blue) Darren Pearce 1.00 1.03%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jason Wiggins 1.00 1.01%
Pork Vale (Blue) Robert Skipper 1.00 0.95%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Simon Durrant 1.00 0.40%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Graham Lawlor 1.00 0.24%
Lardiff City (Black) Thomas Nind 1.00 0.20%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) Jan Lawlor 1.00 -0.13%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) David Langston 0.50 1.96%
Ivory Cheese Toastie (White) seth dodson 0.50 1.41%
Pork Vale (Blue) Jamie Whiteside 0.50 1.29%
Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow) Toby Fox-Hammond 0.50 1.10%
Pork Vale (Blue) James Webster 0.50 0.82%
Lardiff City (Black) Michael Lister 0.50 0.77%
Man Titty (Orange) Tony Harrison 0.50 0.73%
Man Titty (Orange) Leigh Alston 0.50 0.69%
Lardiff City (Black) Jim Lister 0.50 0.50%
Man Titty (Orange) Luke Wicks 0.50 0.30%
Man Titty (Orange) Tom Karadzic 0.50 0.29%
Lardiff City (Black) Jon Graham 0.50 0.20%
Pork Vale (Blue) Daniel Connellan 0.50 0.11%
Kebaberdeen FC (Green) Gary Robinson 0.50 0.10%

Upcoming Cup Matches

  • Wednesday 04 June

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 04 June

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 20:30
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 04 June

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 21:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 20:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 20:30
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 21:00
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:30
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 21:00
    Pork Vale (Blue)

Recent Cup Match Results

  • Wednesday 04 June

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 02 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 30 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)

 

  • Wednesday 11 June

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 20:00
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 11 June

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:30
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 11 June

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 21:00
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 18 June

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 18 June

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 20:30
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 18 June

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 21:00
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 25 June

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:00
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 25 June

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 20:30
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 25 June

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 21:00
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:00
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 20:30
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 21:00
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 20:00
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 20:30
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 21:00
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:00
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:30
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 21:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Lardiff City (Black)
    VS 20:00
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Man Titty (Orange)
    VS 20:30
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 21:00
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    VS 20:00
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    VS 20:30
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    VS 21:00
    Lardiff City (Black)

Tap score to see breakdown.

  • Wednesday 28 May

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    11 - 16
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    7 - 14
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    9 - 8
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 14 May

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    13 - 15
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    12 - 8
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    10 - 16
    Man Titty (Orange)

  • Wednesday 11 June

    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 18 June

    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)

  • Wednesday 25 June

    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)

  • Wednesday 09 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)

  • Wednesday 16 July

    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 23 July

    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)

  • Wednesday 06 August

    Lardiff City (Black)
    0 - 0
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    Man Titty (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)

  • Wednesday 13 August

    Ivory Cheese Toastie (White)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty (Orange)
    Queens Pork Roasters (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Kebaberdeen FC (Green)
    Pork Vale (Blue)
    0 - 0
    Lardiff City (Black)