Eastleigh | Check now if you qualify for a funded place
Friday | 20:10-22:30
Stoneham Lane Football Complex, Stoneham Lane, Eastleigh, SO16 2PA
Welcome to MAN v FAT Eastleigh. This is an active Club but, at present, there is a waiting list for places. Please feel free to sign up and your MAN v FAT coach will be in touch soon. (You will not be charged a monthly subscription of £35 until your place in the club is confirmed). You may qualify for funding via Hampshire County Council for members registering with a Hampshire County Council Postcode (Excludes Portsmouth & Southampton - you'll be able to see if you're eligible before you make a payment to register.
As a original Season 1 player from MvF Eastleigh, my journey has taken me from player, to facilitator to Coach. I'm dedicated to helping individuals achieve their health and weight loss goals through the power of football. With a love for team sports, I believe regular exercise and diet should be fun, interesting and inclusive! Having seen the transformative effects of combining physical activity with wider-team support and tracking progress, MvF Eastleigh is a welcoming environment for all skill levels, whether you’re a seasoned player or a beginner. The team and I are here to motivate and guide you on your journey to better health. With personalized coaching, nutritional programs and engaging challenges, we empower all team members to reach their goals while enjoying a weekly game of Football!
Joe Cooper, Coach, Eastleigh | Check now if you qualify for a funded place
Leaderboard
Season Sixteen | 2025
#
Team
Pl
W
Pts
1
Cholesterol Palace (Red)
4
4
8
2
Chubby Custards (Yellow)
4
3
6
3
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
4
2
4
4
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
4
2
4
5
Flaberdeen FC (Green)
4
2
4
6
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
4
2
4
7
Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
4
1
3
8
Diabético Madrid (Pink)
4
1
3
9
Ozempiacos (Black)
4
1
2
10
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
4
1
2
“I started half the man and twice the person, and I’ve come out half the person but twice the man.”
Harry Spacagna
Latest league fixtures / results
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 60 | 27 | 33 | 8 |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 33 | 24 | 9 | 6 |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 24 | 23 | 1 | 4 |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 32 | 32 | 0 | 4 |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 20 | 22 | -2 | 4 |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 31 | 35 | -4 | 4 |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 22 | 28 | -6 | 3 |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 22 | 30 | -8 | 3 |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 25 | 34 | -9 | 2 |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 33 | 47 | -14 | 2 |
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ozempiacos (Black) | 4 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 5 | 7 |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | 4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 4 | 6 |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | 4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 7 | 3 | 4 | 6 |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 4 | -1 | 5 |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 1 | 4 |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 5 | 6 | -1 | 4 |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 9 | 5 | 4 | 3 |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 11 | 8 | 3 | 3 |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 2 |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 5 | 24 | -19 | 0 |
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | 4 | 4 | 3 | 0 | 30 | 7 | 23 | 11 |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | 4 | 2 | 5 | 1 | 15 | 19 | -4 | 9 |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | 4 | 2 | 4 | 1 | 6 | 7 | -1 | 8 |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | 4 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 10 | 12 | -2 | 8 |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | 4 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 16 | 10 | 6 | 7 |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | 4 | 2 | 3 | 1 | 14 | 10 | 4 | 7 |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | 4 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 13 | 12 | 1 | 6 |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | 4 | 1 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 10 | -8 | 6 |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | 4 | 1 | 3 | 3 | 7 | 19 | -12 | 5 |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | 4 | 0 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 12 | -7 | 3 |
| Team | Player | Weight Score | Loss Percentage |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Timothy Shipwey | 9.50 | 9.25% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Brian Birch | 9.50 | 9.04% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | James Nash | 9.00 | 5.97% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Michael Barrow | 9.00 | 5.80% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Nygel West | 6.50 | 5.38% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Steven Topazio | 6.50 | 3.40% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Craig Frampton | 6.00 | 6.39% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Kevin West | 6.00 | 3.64% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Thomas simons | 6.00 | 3.00% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Mike Stephens | 6.00 | 2.03% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Brian Edwards | 5.00 | 2.77% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Gary Young | 5.00 | 2.49% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Sam Scott | 4.00 | 5.90% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Chris Hescott | 4.00 | 2.39% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | David Ray | 4.00 | 2.15% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Jack Sherred | 3.50 | 3.04% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Oscar Easton | 3.50 | 1.36% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Kieran James | 3.50 | 0.22% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Jonathan Rumsey | 3.00 | 4.00% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | James Lacey | 3.00 | 2.36% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Adam Hunt | 3.00 | 2.04% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Matthew King | 3.00 | 1.63% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Nathan Middleton | 3.00 | 1.36% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | David Bradford | 3.00 | 1.32% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Darren Hall | 2.50 | 2.35% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Jonathon Canning | 2.50 | 2.16% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Lloyd Thomas | 2.50 | 1.84% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Ashley Healey | 2.50 | 1.48% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Michael Wedge | 2.50 | 1.12% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Richard Moseley | 2.50 | 0.82% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Darren Cawte | 2.50 | 0.40% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Oliver Hollman | 2.00 | 0.42% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Michael Salt | 2.00 | 0.33% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Scott Exell | 1.50 | 1.38% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Lewis King | 1.50 | 0.24% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Jonathan Mottram | 1.00 | 2.30% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | David Godfrey | 1.00 | 1.58% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Jack Quinton | 1.00 | 1.52% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Steve Jones | 1.00 | 1.48% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Alan McDonald | 1.00 | 1.40% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Mike Minnis | 1.00 | 0.87% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Paul Russell | 1.00 | 0.83% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Matthew Cook | 1.00 | 0.73% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Bradley Evans | 1.00 | 0.55% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Matthew Stewart | 1.00 | 0.11% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | JON BROOK | 0.50 | 0.97% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Dave Carey | 0.50 | 0.71% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Karl Bernstien | 0.50 | 0.58% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Christopher Addoo | 0.50 | 0.39% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Ryan Bishop | 0.50 | 0.00% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Mark Holman | 0.50 | -0.26% |
Upcoming Cup Matches
-
Friday 07 November
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:10Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 07 November
Ozempiacos (Black)VS 20:20Flaberdeen FC (Green) -
Friday 07 November
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 20:40Snackrington Stanley (Orange) -
Friday 07 November
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 20:50Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 07 November
Chubby Custards (Yellow)VS 21:10Diabético Madrid (Pink) -
Friday 05 December
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 20:10Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 05 December
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 20:20Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 05 December
Ozempiacos (Black)VS 20:40Diabético Madrid (Pink) -
Friday 05 December
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:50Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 05 December
Flaberdeen FC (Green)VS 21:10Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
Recent Cup Match Results
-
Friday 10 October
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)3 - 9Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Ozempiacos (Black)5 - 5Chubby Custards (Yellow)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)11 - 8Diabético Madrid (Pink)Flaberdeen FC (Green)9 - 9Cholesterol Palace (Red)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)8 - 5Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 07 November
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0Man Titty FC (Light Blue)Ozempiacos (Black)0 - 0Flaberdeen FC (Green)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red)Chubby Custards (Yellow)0 - 0Diabético Madrid (Pink) -
Friday 05 December
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0Man Titty FC (Light Blue)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow)Ozempiacos (Black)0 - 0Diabético Madrid (Pink)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red)Flaberdeen FC (Green)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
-
Friday 31 October
Cholesterol Palace (Red)VS 20:10ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 31 October
Diabético Madrid (Pink)VS 20:20Ozempic Lyonnais (White) -
Friday 31 October
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)VS 20:40Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 31 October
Snackrington Stanley (Orange)VS 20:50Ozempiacos (Black) -
Friday 31 October
Flaberdeen FC (Green)VS 21:10Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) -
Friday 14 November
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 20:10Diabético Madrid (Pink) -
Friday 14 November
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)VS 20:20Snackrington Stanley (Orange) -
Friday 14 November
Ozempiacos (Black)VS 20:40Flaberdeen FC (Green) -
Friday 14 November
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 20:50Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) -
Friday 14 November
Chubby Custards (Yellow)VS 21:10Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 21 November
Flaberdeen FC (Green)VS 20:10Ozempic Lyonnais (White) -
Friday 21 November
Ozempiacos (Black)VS 20:20Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 21 November
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:40Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 21 November
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 20:50Snackrington Stanley (Orange) -
Friday 21 November
Diabético Madrid (Pink)VS 21:10Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 28 November
Diabético Madrid (Pink)VS 20:10Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) -
Friday 28 November
Cholesterol Palace (Red)VS 20:20Flaberdeen FC (Green) -
Friday 28 November
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 20:40Snackrington Stanley (Orange) -
Friday 28 November
Chubby Custards (Yellow)VS 20:50Ozempiacos (Black) -
Friday 28 November
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)VS 21:10ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 12 December
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:10Ozempiacos (Black) -
Friday 12 December
Snackrington Stanley (Orange)VS 20:20Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 12 December
Cholesterol Palace (Red)VS 20:40Ozempic Lyonnais (White) -
Friday 12 December
Diabético Madrid (Pink)VS 20:50Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 12 December
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 21:10Flaberdeen FC (Green)
Tap score to see breakdown.
-
Friday 24 October
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)4 - 6Chubby Custards (Yellow)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)8 - 3Diabético Madrid (Pink)Ozempiacos (Black)4 - 13Cholesterol Palace (Red)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)6 - 7Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Flaberdeen FC (Green)5 - 4Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 17 October
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)11 - 7Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Cholesterol Palace (Red)19 - 8Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Diabético Madrid (Pink)7 - 11Ozempiacos (Black)Chubby Custards (Yellow)9 - 7ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)3 - 7Flaberdeen FC (Green) -
Friday 03 October
Cholesterol Palace (Red)8 - 5Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Diabético Madrid (Pink)5 - 4Flaberdeen FC (Green)Chubby Custards (Yellow)8 - 9Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)8 - 5Ozempiacos (Black)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)6 - 3ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 26 September
Ozempiacos (Black)5 - 6ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)10 - 13Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Flaberdeen FC (Green)4 - 10Chubby Custards (Yellow)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)7 - 7Diabético Madrid (Pink)Cholesterol Palace (Red)20 - 10Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 31 October
Cholesterol Palace (Red)0 - 0ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Diabético Madrid (Pink)0 - 0Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)0 - 0Ozempiacos (Black)Flaberdeen FC (Green)0 - 0Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) -
Friday 14 November
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Diabético Madrid (Pink)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Ozempiacos (Black)0 - 0Flaberdeen FC (Green)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Chubby Custards (Yellow)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 21 November
Flaberdeen FC (Green)0 - 0Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Ozempiacos (Black)0 - 0Man Titty FC (Light Blue)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Diabético Madrid (Pink)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 28 November
Diabético Madrid (Pink)0 - 0Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Cholesterol Palace (Red)0 - 0Flaberdeen FC (Green)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Chubby Custards (Yellow)0 - 0Ozempiacos (Black)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)0 - 0ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 12 December
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0Ozempiacos (Black)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow)Cholesterol Palace (Red)0 - 0Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Diabético Madrid (Pink)0 - 0Man Titty FC (Light Blue)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Flaberdeen FC (Green)