Eastleigh | Check now if you qualify for a funded place
Friday | 20:10-22:30
Stoneham Lane Football Complex, Stoneham Lane, Eastleigh, SO16 2PA
Welcome to MAN v FAT Eastleigh. This is an active Club. Please feel free to sign up and your MAN v FAT coach will be in touch soon. (You will not be charged a monthly subscription of £35 until your place in the club is confirmed). You may qualify for funding via Hampshire County Council for members registering with a Hampshire County Council Postcode (Excludes Portsmouth & Southampton - you'll be able to see if you're eligible before you make a payment to register.
As a original Season 1 player from MvF Eastleigh, my journey has taken me from player, to facilitator to Coach. I'm dedicated to helping individuals achieve their health and weight loss goals through the power of football. With a love for team sports, I believe regular exercise and diet should be fun, interesting and inclusive! Having seen the transformative effects of combining physical activity with wider-team support and tracking progress, MvF Eastleigh is a welcoming environment for all skill levels, whether you’re a seasoned player or a beginner. The team and I are here to motivate and guide you on your journey to better health. With personalized coaching, nutritional programs and engaging challenges, we empower all team members to reach their goals while enjoying a weekly game of Football!
Joe Cooper, Coach, Eastleigh | Check now if you qualify for a funded place
Leaderboard
Season Sixteen | 2025
#
Team
Pl
W
Pts
1
Cholesterol Palace (Red)
8
8
16
2
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
8
6
12
3
Chubby Custards (Yellow)
8
6
12
4
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
8
5
10
5
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
8
4
8
6
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
8
3
6
7
Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
8
2
5
8
Flaberdeen FC (Green)
8
2
4
9
Ozempiacos (Black)
8
2
4
10
Diabético Madrid (Pink)
8
1
3
“I started half the man and twice the person, and I’ve come out half the person but twice the man.”
Harry Spacagna
Latest league fixtures / results
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | 8 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 113 | 50 | 63 | 16 |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | 8 | 6 | 0 | 2 | 75 | 46 | 29 | 12 |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | 8 | 6 | 0 | 2 | 73 | 54 | 19 | 12 |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | 8 | 5 | 0 | 3 | 71 | 69 | 2 | 10 |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | 8 | 4 | 0 | 4 | 54 | 65 | -11 | 8 |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | 8 | 3 | 0 | 5 | 63 | 74 | -11 | 6 |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | 8 | 2 | 1 | 5 | 45 | 56 | -11 | 5 |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | 8 | 2 | 0 | 6 | 48 | 63 | -15 | 4 |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | 8 | 2 | 0 | 6 | 56 | 75 | -19 | 4 |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | 8 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 38 | 84 | -46 | 3 |
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ozempiacos (Black) | 8 | 5 | 1 | 2 | 16 | 13 | 3 | 11 |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | 8 | 4 | 2 | 2 | 21 | 11 | 10 | 10 |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | 8 | 4 | 2 | 2 | 10 | 14 | -4 | 10 |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | 8 | 4 | 1 | 3 | 22 | 13 | 9 | 9 |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | 8 | 4 | 1 | 3 | 16 | 12 | 4 | 9 |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | 8 | 4 | 0 | 4 | 17 | 10 | 7 | 8 |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | 8 | 3 | 1 | 4 | 13 | 11 | 2 | 7 |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | 8 | 3 | 0 | 5 | 14 | 16 | -2 | 6 |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | 8 | 3 | 0 | 5 | 17 | 31 | -14 | 6 |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | 8 | 2 | 0 | 6 | 9 | 24 | -15 | 4 |
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | 8 | 7 | 2 | 0 | 50 | 13 | 37 | 16 |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | 8 | 7 | 1 | 1 | 29 | 12 | 17 | 15 |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | 8 | 5 | 2 | 2 | 31 | 10 | 21 | 12 |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | 8 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 24 | 15 | 9 | 11 |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | 8 | 4 | 1 | 4 | 23 | 23 | 0 | 9 |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | 8 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 23 | 29 | -6 | 9 |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | 8 | 2 | 2 | 5 | 8 | 24 | -16 | 6 |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | 8 | 2 | 2 | 5 | 13 | 35 | -22 | 6 |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | 8 | 2 | 1 | 6 | 4 | 17 | -13 | 5 |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | 8 | 0 | 1 | 8 | 5 | 32 | -27 | 1 |
| Team | Player | Weight Score | Loss Percentage |
|---|---|---|---|
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | James Nash | 16.00 | 8.44% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Brian Birch | 14.00 | 17.66% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Timothy Shipwey | 14.00 | 12.95% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Nygel West | 12.00 | 8.69% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Steven Topazio | 11.00 | 5.52% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Jonathan Rumsey | 10.50 | 7.68% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Michael Barrow | 9.50 | 6.01% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Mike Stephens | 9.00 | 3.53% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Chris Hescott | 9.00 | 3.10% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Craig Frampton | 8.50 | 7.73% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Kevin West | 8.00 | 5.58% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Steve Jones | 8.00 | 5.20% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Thomas simons | 8.00 | 4.99% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Scott Exell | 7.50 | 4.15% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Nathan Middleton | 7.50 | 3.54% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Brian Edwards | 7.50 | 3.40% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Kieran Davies | 6.00 | 3.47% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | David Bradford | 6.00 | 2.04% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Adam Hunt | 5.50 | 3.61% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Jack Sherred | 5.50 | 1.46% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Matthew King | 5.50 | 1.13% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | James Lacey | 5.00 | 2.67% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Chris Eager | 4.00 | 8.30% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Jonathon Canning | 3.50 | 4.87% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Gary Gotts | 3.50 | 4.82% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Jonathan Mottram | 3.50 | 4.17% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Darren Hall | 3.50 | 2.43% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Lloyd Thomas | 3.50 | 2.35% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Darren Cawte | 3.50 | 1.59% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Ashley Healey | 3.50 | 1.56% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Oscar Easton | 3.50 | 1.36% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | David Godfrey | 3.00 | 3.00% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Michael Wedge | 3.00 | 1.22% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Lewis King | 3.00 | -0.08% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Alan McDonald | 2.50 | 2.50% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Matthew Cook | 2.50 | 1.39% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Jack Quinton | 2.50 | 1.04% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Michael Ronan | 2.50 | 0.59% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Stuart White | 2.00 | 1.70% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Jack Medlock | 2.00 | 1.35% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | JON BROOK | 2.00 | 0.97% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Ryan Bishop | 1.50 | 1.15% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Daniel Jewell | 1.50 | 0.98% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Pablo Hazell | 1.50 | 0.71% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Michael Salt | 1.50 | 0.42% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Thomas Downer | 1.50 | 0.42% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Christopher Addoo | 1.50 | 0.19% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Bradley Evans | 1.50 | -0.66% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Richard Moseley | 1.50 | -0.82% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Kieran James | 1.50 | -0.86% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Dave Carey | 1.00 | 0.83% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Matthew Colwell | 1.00 | 0.64% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Louis Whitfield | 0.50 | 3.09% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Scott Watt | 0.50 | 2.43% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Stuart Redding | 0.50 | 1.72% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Joshua Thornton | 0.50 | 0.27% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Karl Bernstien | 0.50 | 0.12% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Dan Le Feuvre | 0.50 | 0.00% |
Upcoming Cup Matches
-
Friday 05 December
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 20:10Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 05 December
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 20:20Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 05 December
Ozempiacos (Black)VS 20:40Diabético Madrid (Pink) -
Friday 05 December
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:50Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 05 December
Flaberdeen FC (Green)VS 21:10Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
Recent Cup Match Results
-
Friday 07 November
Chubby Custards (Yellow)13 - 8Diabético Madrid (Pink)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)11 - 11Cholesterol Palace (Red)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)5 - 4Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Ozempiacos (Black)17 - 9Flaberdeen FC (Green)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)8 - 7Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 10 October
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)3 - 9Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Ozempiacos (Black)5 - 5Chubby Custards (Yellow)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)11 - 8Diabético Madrid (Pink)Flaberdeen FC (Green)9 - 9Cholesterol Palace (Red)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)8 - 5Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 05 December
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0Man Titty FC (Light Blue)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow)Ozempiacos (Black)0 - 0Diabético Madrid (Pink)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red)Flaberdeen FC (Green)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
-
Friday 12 December
Cholesterol Palace (Red)VS 20:10Ozempic Lyonnais (White) -
Friday 12 December
Diabético Madrid (Pink)VS 20:20Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 12 December
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:40ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 12 December
Flaberdeen FC (Green)VS 20:50Ozempiacos (Black) -
Friday 12 December
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)VS 21:10Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
Tap score to see breakdown.
-
Friday 28 November
Chubby Custards (Yellow)7 - 5Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)13 - 9Ozempiacos (Black)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)12 - 4ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Cholesterol Palace (Red)11 - 6Flaberdeen FC (Green)Diabético Madrid (Pink)10 - 14Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 21 November
Diabético Madrid (Pink)4 - 15Cholesterol Palace (Red)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)8 - 6Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)8 - 5Man Titty FC (Light Blue)Ozempiacos (Black)7 - 12Chubby Custards (Yellow)Flaberdeen FC (Green)12 - 15ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 14 November
Snackrington Stanley (Orange)3 - 7ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Diabético Madrid (Pink)1 - 9Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)7 - 3Flaberdeen FC (Green)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)7 - 9Ozempiacos (Black)Chubby Custards (Yellow)9 - 12Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 31 October
Flaberdeen FC (Green)7 - 8Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)9 - 6Ozempiacos (Black)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)6 - 12Chubby Custards (Yellow)Diabético Madrid (Pink)1 - 16Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Cholesterol Palace (Red)15 - 4ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 24 October
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)4 - 6Chubby Custards (Yellow)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)8 - 3Diabético Madrid (Pink)Ozempiacos (Black)4 - 13Cholesterol Palace (Red)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)6 - 7Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Flaberdeen FC (Green)5 - 4Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 17 October
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)11 - 7Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Cholesterol Palace (Red)19 - 8Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Diabético Madrid (Pink)7 - 11Ozempiacos (Black)Chubby Custards (Yellow)9 - 7ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)3 - 7Flaberdeen FC (Green) -
Friday 03 October
Cholesterol Palace (Red)8 - 5Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Diabético Madrid (Pink)5 - 4Flaberdeen FC (Green)Chubby Custards (Yellow)8 - 9Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)8 - 5Ozempiacos (Black)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)6 - 3ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 26 September
Ozempiacos (Black)5 - 6ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)10 - 13Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Flaberdeen FC (Green)4 - 10Chubby Custards (Yellow)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)7 - 7Diabético Madrid (Pink)Cholesterol Palace (Red)20 - 10Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 12 December
Cholesterol Palace (Red)0 - 0Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Diabético Madrid (Pink)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Flaberdeen FC (Green)0 - 0Ozempiacos (Black)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)