Eastleigh | Check now if you qualify for a funded place
Friday | 20:10-22:30
Stoneham Lane Football Complex, Stoneham Lane, Eastleigh, SO16 2PA
Welcome to MAN v FAT Eastleigh. This is an active Club but, at present, there is a waiting list for places. Please feel free to sign up and your MAN v FAT coach will be in touch soon. (You will not be charged a monthly subscription of £35 until your place in the club is confirmed). You may qualify for funding via Hampshire County Council for members registering with a Hampshire County Council Postcode (Excludes Portsmouth & Southampton - you'll be able to see if you're eligible before you make a payment to register.
As a original Season 1 player from MvF Eastleigh, my journey has taken me from player, to facilitator to Coach. I'm dedicated to helping individuals achieve their health and weight loss goals through the power of football. With a love for team sports, I believe regular exercise and diet should be fun, interesting and inclusive! Having seen the transformative effects of combining physical activity with wider-team support and tracking progress, MvF Eastleigh is a welcoming environment for all skill levels, whether you’re a seasoned player or a beginner. The team and I are here to motivate and guide you on your journey to better health. With personalized coaching, nutritional programs and engaging challenges, we empower all team members to reach their goals while enjoying a weekly game of Football!
Joe Cooper, Coach, Eastleigh | Check now if you qualify for a funded place
Leaderboard
Season Sixteen | 2025
#
Team
Pl
W
Pts
1
Cholesterol Palace (Red)
5
5
10
2
Chubby Custards (Yellow)
5
4
8
3
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
5
3
6
4
Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
5
2
5
5
Flaberdeen FC (Green)
5
2
4
6
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
5
2
4
7
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
5
2
4
8
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
5
2
4
9
Diabético Madrid (Pink)
5
1
3
10
Ozempiacos (Black)
5
1
2
“I started half the man and twice the person, and I’ve come out half the person but twice the man.”
Harry Spacagna
Latest league fixtures / results
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | 5 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 75 | 31 | 44 | 10 |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | 5 | 4 | 0 | 1 | 45 | 30 | 15 | 8 |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | 5 | 3 | 0 | 2 | 48 | 33 | 15 | 6 |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | 5 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 31 | 34 | -3 | 5 |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | 5 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 27 | 30 | -3 | 4 |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | 5 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 28 | 38 | -10 | 4 |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | 5 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 37 | 47 | -10 | 4 |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | 5 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 41 | 54 | -13 | 4 |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | 5 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 23 | 46 | -23 | 3 |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | 5 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 31 | 43 | -12 | 2 |
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ozempiacos (Black) | 5 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 10 | 2 | 8 | 9 |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | 5 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 14 | 8 | 6 | 8 |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | 5 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 5 | 8 |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | 5 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 7 | 6 | 1 | 7 |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | 5 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 10 | 8 | 2 | 4 |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | 5 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 9 | 10 | -1 | 4 |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | 5 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 6 | 9 | -3 | 4 |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | 5 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 12 | 10 | 2 | 3 |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | 5 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 10 | 9 | 1 | 3 |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | 5 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 7 | 28 | -21 | 0 |
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | 5 | 5 | 3 | 0 | 37 | 6 | 31 | 13 |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | 5 | 4 | 1 | 1 | 17 | 9 | 8 | 9 |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | 5 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 15 | 8 | 7 | 9 |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | 5 | 2 | 5 | 2 | 13 | 20 | -7 | 9 |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | 5 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 21 | 9 | 12 | 8 |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | 5 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 6 | 8 | -2 | 8 |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | 5 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 5 | 8 | -3 | 8 |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | 5 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 9 | 19 | -10 | 8 |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | 5 | 1 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 23 | -18 | 5 |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | 5 | 0 | 3 | 5 | 2 | 20 | -18 | 3 |
| Team | Player | Weight Score | Loss Percentage |
|---|---|---|---|
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | James Nash | 12.00 | 7.00% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Brian Birch | 11.50 | 12.79% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Timothy Shipwey | 11.50 | 10.14% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Michael Barrow | 9.00 | 5.37% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Steven Topazio | 8.50 | 3.99% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Nygel West | 8.00 | 6.82% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Brian Edwards | 7.00 | 3.94% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Craig Frampton | 6.50 | 6.97% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Kevin West | 6.50 | 4.31% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Mike Stephens | 6.50 | 1.94% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Thomas simons | 6.00 | 3.00% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Chris Hescott | 6.00 | 2.74% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Jonathan Rumsey | 5.00 | 4.95% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Jack Sherred | 5.00 | 3.60% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Nathan Middleton | 5.00 | 2.54% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Kieran Davies | 4.00 | 2.23% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | David Ray | 4.00 | 2.15% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | James Lacey | 3.50 | 2.52% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Adam Hunt | 3.50 | 2.04% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Oscar Easton | 3.50 | 1.36% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Matthew King | 3.50 | 1.00% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | David Bradford | 3.50 | 0.99% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Steve Jones | 3.00 | 3.80% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Ashley Healey | 3.00 | 1.97% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Darren Cawte | 3.00 | 1.35% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Alan McDonald | 2.50 | 2.73% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Jonathan Mottram | 2.50 | 2.64% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Darren Hall | 2.50 | 2.35% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Jack Quinton | 2.50 | 2.18% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | David Godfrey | 2.50 | 2.16% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Jonathon Canning | 2.50 | 2.16% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Lloyd Thomas | 2.50 | 1.53% |
| Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) | Michael Wedge | 2.50 | 1.12% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Bradley Evans | 2.50 | 1.00% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Richard Moseley | 2.50 | 0.51% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Kieran James | 2.50 | -0.32% |
| ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) | Scott Exell | 2.00 | 1.75% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Lewis King | 2.00 | 0.24% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Brad Halls | 1.50 | 0.40% |
| Ozempic Lyonnais (White) | Gary Gotts | 1.00 | 2.97% |
| Man Titty FC (Light Blue) | Dave Carey | 1.00 | 1.77% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Chris Wareham | 1.00 | 0.86% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Matthew Cook | 1.00 | 0.73% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Daniel Jewell | 1.00 | 0.44% |
| Flaberdeen FC (Green) | Christopher Addoo | 1.00 | 0.29% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Joshua Reynolds | 1.00 | -0.10% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Paul Russell | 1.00 | -0.55% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Michael Salt | 1.00 | -0.91% |
| Diabético Madrid (Pink) | Oliver Hollman | 1.00 | -1.10% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Michael Ronan | 1.00 | -1.87% |
| Cholesterol Palace (Red) | Scott Watt | 0.50 | 2.43% |
| Chubby Custards (Yellow) | Drew Brisley | 0.50 | 1.16% |
| Ozempiacos (Black) | Matthew Colwell | 0.50 | 0.50% |
| Snackrington Stanley (Orange) | Justin Loader | 0.50 | -1.07% |
Upcoming Cup Matches
-
Friday 05 December
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 20:10Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 05 December
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 20:20Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 05 December
Ozempiacos (Black)VS 20:40Diabético Madrid (Pink) -
Friday 05 December
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:50Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 05 December
Flaberdeen FC (Green)VS 21:10Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
Recent Cup Match Results
-
Friday 07 November
Chubby Custards (Yellow)13 - 8Diabético Madrid (Pink)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)11 - 11Cholesterol Palace (Red)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)5 - 4Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Ozempiacos (Black)17 - 9Flaberdeen FC (Green)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)8 - 7Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 10 October
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)3 - 9Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Ozempiacos (Black)5 - 5Chubby Custards (Yellow)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)11 - 8Diabético Madrid (Pink)Flaberdeen FC (Green)9 - 9Cholesterol Palace (Red)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)8 - 5Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 05 December
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0Man Titty FC (Light Blue)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow)Ozempiacos (Black)0 - 0Diabético Madrid (Pink)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red)Flaberdeen FC (Green)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
-
Friday 14 November
Chubby Custards (Yellow)VS 20:10Diabético Madrid (Pink) -
Friday 14 November
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)VS 20:20Snackrington Stanley (Orange) -
Friday 14 November
Ozempiacos (Black)VS 20:40Flaberdeen FC (Green) -
Friday 14 November
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 20:50Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) -
Friday 14 November
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 21:10Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 21 November
Flaberdeen FC (Green)VS 20:10Ozempic Lyonnais (White) -
Friday 21 November
Ozempiacos (Black)VS 20:20Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 21 November
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:40Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 21 November
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 20:50Snackrington Stanley (Orange) -
Friday 21 November
Diabético Madrid (Pink)VS 21:10Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 28 November
Diabético Madrid (Pink)VS 20:10Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) -
Friday 28 November
Cholesterol Palace (Red)VS 20:20Flaberdeen FC (Green) -
Friday 28 November
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)VS 20:40Snackrington Stanley (Orange) -
Friday 28 November
Chubby Custards (Yellow)VS 20:50Ozempiacos (Black) -
Friday 28 November
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)VS 21:10ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 12 December
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)VS 20:10Ozempiacos (Black) -
Friday 12 December
Snackrington Stanley (Orange)VS 20:20Chubby Custards (Yellow) -
Friday 12 December
Cholesterol Palace (Red)VS 20:40Ozempic Lyonnais (White) -
Friday 12 December
Diabético Madrid (Pink)VS 20:50Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 12 December
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)VS 21:10Flaberdeen FC (Green)
Tap score to see breakdown.
-
Friday 31 October
Flaberdeen FC (Green)7 - 8Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)9 - 6Ozempiacos (Black)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)6 - 12Chubby Custards (Yellow)Diabético Madrid (Pink)1 - 16Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Cholesterol Palace (Red)15 - 4ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 24 October
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)4 - 6Chubby Custards (Yellow)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)8 - 3Diabético Madrid (Pink)Ozempiacos (Black)4 - 13Cholesterol Palace (Red)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)6 - 7Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Flaberdeen FC (Green)5 - 4Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 17 October
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)11 - 7Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Cholesterol Palace (Red)19 - 8Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Diabético Madrid (Pink)7 - 11Ozempiacos (Black)Chubby Custards (Yellow)9 - 7ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)3 - 7Flaberdeen FC (Green) -
Friday 03 October
Cholesterol Palace (Red)8 - 5Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Diabético Madrid (Pink)5 - 4Flaberdeen FC (Green)Chubby Custards (Yellow)8 - 9Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)8 - 5Ozempiacos (Black)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)6 - 3ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 26 September
Ozempiacos (Black)5 - 6ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)10 - 13Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Flaberdeen FC (Green)4 - 10Chubby Custards (Yellow)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)7 - 7Diabético Madrid (Pink)Cholesterol Palace (Red)20 - 10Man Titty FC (Light Blue) -
Friday 14 November
Chubby Custards (Yellow)0 - 0Diabético Madrid (Pink)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Ozempiacos (Black)0 - 0Flaberdeen FC (Green)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 21 November
Flaberdeen FC (Green)0 - 0Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Ozempiacos (Black)0 - 0Man Titty FC (Light Blue)Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Diabético Madrid (Pink)0 - 0Cholesterol Palace (Red) -
Friday 28 November
Diabético Madrid (Pink)0 - 0Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)Cholesterol Palace (Red)0 - 0Flaberdeen FC (Green)Ozempic Lyonnais (White)0 - 0Snackrington Stanley (Orange)Chubby Custards (Yellow)0 - 0Ozempiacos (Black)Man Titty FC (Light Blue)0 - 0ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) -
Friday 12 December
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)0 - 0Ozempiacos (Black)Snackrington Stanley (Orange)0 - 0Chubby Custards (Yellow)Cholesterol Palace (Red)0 - 0Ozempic Lyonnais (White)Diabético Madrid (Pink)0 - 0Man Titty FC (Light Blue)ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)0 - 0Flaberdeen FC (Green)