Eastleigh | Check now if you qualify for a funded place

Friday | 20:10-22:30

Stoneham Lane Football Complex, Stoneham Lane, Eastleigh, SO16 2PA

Welcome to MAN v FAT Eastleigh. This is an active Club but, at present, there is a waiting list for places. Please feel free to sign up and your MAN v FAT coach will be in touch soon. (You will not be charged a monthly subscription of £35 until your place in the club is confirmed). You may qualify for funding via Hampshire County Council for members registering with a Hampshire County Council Postcode (Excludes Portsmouth & Southampton - you'll be able to see if you're eligible before you make a payment to register.

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As a original Season 1 player from MvF Eastleigh, my journey has taken me from player, to facilitator to Coach. I'm dedicated to helping individuals achieve their health and weight loss goals through the power of football. With a love for team sports, I believe regular exercise and diet should be fun, interesting and inclusive! Having seen the transformative effects of combining physical activity with wider-team support and tracking progress, MvF Eastleigh is a welcoming environment for all skill levels, whether you’re a seasoned player or a beginner. The team and I are here to motivate and guide you on your journey to better health. With personalized coaching, nutritional programs and engaging challenges, we empower all team members to reach their goals while enjoying a weekly game of Football!

Joe Cooper, Coach, Eastleigh | Check now if you qualify for a funded place

Leaderboard

Season Sixteen | 2025
#
Team
Pl
W
Pts
1
Cholesterol Palace (Red)
4
4
8
2
Chubby Custards (Yellow)
4
3
6
3
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
4
2
4
4
Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
4
2
4
5
Flaberdeen FC (Green)
4
2
4
6
Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
4
2
4
7
Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
4
1
3
8
Diabético Madrid (Pink)
4
1
3
9
Ozempiacos (Black)
4
1
2
10
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
4
1
2

“I started half the man and twice the person, and I’ve come out half the person but  twice  the  man.”

Harry Spacagna

Latest league fixtures / results

P W D L F A GD PTS
Cholesterol Palace (Red) 4 4 0 0 60 27 33 8
Chubby Custards (Yellow) 4 3 0 1 33 24 9 6
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) 4 2 0 2 24 23 1 4
Ozempic Lyonnais (White) 4 2 0 2 32 32 0 4
Flaberdeen FC (Green) 4 2 0 2 20 22 -2 4
Man Titty FC (Light Blue) 4 2 0 2 31 35 -4 4
Snackrington Stanley (Orange) 4 1 1 2 22 28 -6 3
Diabético Madrid (Pink) 4 1 1 2 22 30 -8 3
Ozempiacos (Black) 4 1 0 3 25 34 -9 2
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) 4 1 0 3 33 47 -14 2
P W D L F A GD PTS
Ozempiacos (Black) 4 3 1 0 6 1 5 7
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) 4 2 2 0 4 0 4 6
Chubby Custards (Yellow) 4 2 2 0 7 3 4 6
Flaberdeen FC (Green) 4 2 1 1 3 4 -1 5
Man Titty FC (Light Blue) 4 2 0 2 4 3 1 4
Diabético Madrid (Pink) 4 2 0 2 5 6 -1 4
Snackrington Stanley (Orange) 4 1 1 2 9 5 4 3
Cholesterol Palace (Red) 4 1 1 2 11 8 3 3
Ozempic Lyonnais (White) 4 1 0 3 7 7 0 2
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) 4 0 0 4 5 24 -19 0
P W D L F A GD PTS
Cholesterol Palace (Red) 4 4 3 0 30 7 23 11
Man Titty FC (Light Blue) 4 2 5 1 15 19 -4 9
Flaberdeen FC (Green) 4 2 4 1 6 7 -1 8
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) 4 2 4 2 10 12 -2 8
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) 4 3 1 1 16 10 6 7
Chubby Custards (Yellow) 4 2 3 1 14 10 4 7
Ozempic Lyonnais (White) 4 1 4 2 13 12 1 6
Snackrington Stanley (Orange) 4 1 4 3 2 10 -8 6
Ozempiacos (Black) 4 1 3 3 7 19 -12 5
Diabético Madrid (Pink) 4 0 3 4 5 12 -7 3
Team Player Weight Score Loss Percentage
Cholesterol Palace (Red) Timothy Shipwey 9.50 9.25%
Cholesterol Palace (Red) Brian Birch 9.50 9.04%
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) James Nash 9.00 5.97%
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) Michael Barrow 9.00 5.80%
Diabético Madrid (Pink) Nygel West 6.50 5.38%
Ozempic Lyonnais (White) Steven Topazio 6.50 3.40%
Ozempiacos (Black) Craig Frampton 6.00 6.39%
Chubby Custards (Yellow) Kevin West 6.00 3.64%
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) Thomas simons 6.00 3.00%
Chubby Custards (Yellow) Mike Stephens 6.00 2.03%
Ozempic Lyonnais (White) Brian Edwards 5.00 2.77%
Man Titty FC (Light Blue) Gary Young 5.00 2.49%
Cholesterol Palace (Red) Sam Scott 4.00 5.90%
Ozempic Lyonnais (White) Chris Hescott 4.00 2.39%
Flaberdeen FC (Green) David Ray 4.00 2.15%
Cholesterol Palace (Red) Jack Sherred 3.50 3.04%
Man Titty FC (Light Blue) Oscar Easton 3.50 1.36%
Cholesterol Palace (Red) Kieran James 3.50 0.22%
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) Jonathan Rumsey 3.00 4.00%
Ozempiacos (Black) James Lacey 3.00 2.36%
Snackrington Stanley (Orange) Adam Hunt 3.00 2.04%
Cholesterol Palace (Red) Matthew King 3.00 1.63%
Flaberdeen FC (Green) Nathan Middleton 3.00 1.36%
Man Titty FC (Light Blue) David Bradford 3.00 1.32%
Chubby Custards (Yellow) Darren Hall 2.50 2.35%
Flaberdeen FC (Green) Jonathon Canning 2.50 2.16%
Ozempiacos (Black) Lloyd Thomas 2.50 1.84%
Man Titty FC (Light Blue) Ashley Healey 2.50 1.48%
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) Michael Wedge 2.50 1.12%
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) Richard Moseley 2.50 0.82%
Flaberdeen FC (Green) Darren Cawte 2.50 0.40%
Diabético Madrid (Pink) Oliver Hollman 2.00 0.42%
Diabético Madrid (Pink) Michael Salt 2.00 0.33%
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) Scott Exell 1.50 1.38%
Chubby Custards (Yellow) Lewis King 1.50 0.24%
Cholesterol Palace (Red) Jonathan Mottram 1.00 2.30%
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) David Godfrey 1.00 1.58%
Snackrington Stanley (Orange) Jack Quinton 1.00 1.52%
ToulouseAlot FC (Purple) Steve Jones 1.00 1.48%
Flaberdeen FC (Green) Alan McDonald 1.00 1.40%
Flaberdeen FC (Green) Mike Minnis 1.00 0.87%
Snackrington Stanley (Orange) Paul Russell 1.00 0.83%
Chubby Custards (Yellow) Matthew Cook 1.00 0.73%
Ozempic Lyonnais (White) Bradley Evans 1.00 0.55%
Man Titty FC (Light Blue) Matthew Stewart 1.00 0.11%
Man Titty FC (Light Blue) JON BROOK 0.50 0.97%
Man Titty FC (Light Blue) Dave Carey 0.50 0.71%
Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue) Karl Bernstien 0.50 0.58%
Flaberdeen FC (Green) Christopher Addoo 0.50 0.39%
Ozempiacos (Black) Ryan Bishop 0.50 0.00%
Diabético Madrid (Pink) Mark Holman 0.50 -0.26%

Upcoming Cup Matches

  • Friday 07 November

    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    VS 20:10
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
  • Friday 07 November

    Ozempiacos (Black)
    VS 20:20
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
  • Friday 07 November

    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    VS 20:40
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
  • Friday 07 November

    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    VS 20:50
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
  • Friday 07 November

    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    VS 21:10
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
  • Friday 05 December

    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    VS 20:10
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
  • Friday 05 December

    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    VS 20:20
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
  • Friday 05 December

    Ozempiacos (Black)
    VS 20:40
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
  • Friday 05 December

    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    VS 20:50
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
  • Friday 05 December

    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 21:10
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)

Recent Cup Match Results

  • Friday 10 October

    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    3 - 9
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    Ozempiacos (Black)
    5 - 5
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    11 - 8
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    9 - 9
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    8 - 5
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
  • Friday 07 November

    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
    Ozempiacos (Black)
    0 - 0
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    0 - 0
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    0 - 0
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
  • Friday 05 December

    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    0 - 0
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    Ozempiacos (Black)
    0 - 0
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    0 - 0
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)

 

  • Friday 31 October

    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    VS 20:10
    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
  • Friday 31 October

    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    VS 20:20
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
  • Friday 31 October

    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
    VS 20:40
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
  • Friday 31 October

    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    VS 20:50
    Ozempiacos (Black)
  • Friday 31 October

    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 21:10
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
  • Friday 14 November

    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    VS 20:10
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
  • Friday 14 November

    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
    VS 20:20
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
  • Friday 14 November

    Ozempiacos (Black)
    VS 20:40
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
  • Friday 14 November

    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    VS 20:50
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
  • Friday 14 November

    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    VS 21:10
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
  • Friday 21 November

    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    VS 20:10
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
  • Friday 21 November

    Ozempiacos (Black)
    VS 20:20
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
  • Friday 21 November

    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    VS 20:40
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
  • Friday 21 November

    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    VS 20:50
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
  • Friday 21 November

    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    VS 21:10
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
  • Friday 28 November

    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    VS 20:10
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
  • Friday 28 November

    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    VS 20:20
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
  • Friday 28 November

    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    VS 20:40
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
  • Friday 28 November

    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    VS 20:50
    Ozempiacos (Black)
  • Friday 28 November

    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
    VS 21:10
    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
  • Friday 12 December

    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    VS 20:10
    Ozempiacos (Black)
  • Friday 12 December

    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    VS 20:20
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
  • Friday 12 December

    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    VS 20:40
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
  • Friday 12 December

    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    VS 20:50
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
  • Friday 12 December

    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    VS 21:10
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)

Tap score to see breakdown.

  • Friday 24 October

    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    4 - 6
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    8 - 3
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    Ozempiacos (Black)
    4 - 13
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    6 - 7
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    5 - 4
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
  • Friday 17 October

    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
    11 - 7
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    19 - 8
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    7 - 11
    Ozempiacos (Black)
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    9 - 7
    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    3 - 7
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
  • Friday 03 October

    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    8 - 5
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    5 - 4
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    8 - 9
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    8 - 5
    Ozempiacos (Black)
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
    6 - 3
    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
  • Friday 26 September

    Ozempiacos (Black)
    5 - 6
    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    10 - 13
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    4 - 10
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    7 - 7
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    20 - 10
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
  • Friday 31 October

    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    0 - 0
    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    0 - 0
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
    0 - 0
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Ozempiacos (Black)
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
  • Friday 14 November

    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    0 - 0
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
    0 - 0
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    Ozempiacos (Black)
    0 - 0
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    0 - 0
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
  • Friday 21 November

    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    0 - 0
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    Ozempiacos (Black)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    0 - 0
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    0 - 0
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    0 - 0
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
  • Friday 28 November

    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    0 - 0
    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    0 - 0
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    0 - 0
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    0 - 0
    Ozempiacos (Black)
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
    0 - 0
    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
  • Friday 12 December

    Paris Sandwhichmen (Dark Blue)
    0 - 0
    Ozempiacos (Black)
    Snackrington Stanley (Orange)
    0 - 0
    Chubby Custards (Yellow)
    Cholesterol Palace (Red)
    0 - 0
    Ozempic Lyonnais (White)
    Diabético Madrid (Pink)
    0 - 0
    Man Titty FC (Light Blue)
    ToulouseAlot FC (Purple)
    0 - 0
    Flaberdeen FC (Green)